As a parent of mixed sex multiples you also notice differences in play preferences even when they are playing with the exact same toys. Marcus already is enthralled with balls and likes to try to catch them if you toss them in his lap. Meanwhile tough Josie will just let it hit her in the head, completely ignoring it and fragile Mia will cry (I assure you, it is a soft ball). Marcus also already loves to be tossed and jostled while little Mia hates rough play.
From the beginning, I can't help noticing which kids require more attention and make life a little more challenging. We all know by now Josie can be a tough chick. However, overall she is able to calm herself and her outbursts don't tend to last long. She also has always been a pretty good sleeper, a HUGE help to a tired mom. I have talked to many parents of infant boys and girls and the parents always talked about how their boys were such screamers when they were young and seemed to have more trouble sleeping at night then their girls. Talking to new parents, it does seem like the parents of girls have a little easier time then the parent's of boys (sleeping through the night by 6 weeks, give me a break!)
I have noticed Marcus has required much more attention than the girls this past month. He gets frustrated very easy during tummy time and gets bored of activities quickly. At night, he is waking up every few hours screaming. He is not easy to soothe either. Could it be teething? Maybe but my gut says no. Besides the fussiness, he has no other signs of teeth coming through. He has always been a crier but as the girls grow out of the fussiness and become independent, Marcus seems to still need so much attention. I will find the girls in their crib in the morning playing by themselves, chitchatting to the butterflies on the wall or just munching on their hands staring at the ceiling. Marcus on the other hand, cries as soon as he wakes up and usually has to be put in his swing to keep him happy. We did a modified version of crying it out to help the kids get down to one feed a night. It worked gloriously with the girls. I wake up and feed them around 3 AM and they are right back to sleep. I rarely hear a peep out of them until I walk into their room in the morning. Marcus does not seem to get it. He continues to randomly cry at night. It is not hunger because if I offer a bottle he only eats an ounce or two. Last night it lasted 2 hours (even after giving him infant Tylenol, just in case it is teething).
Is it true what people say? Are boys more difficult as infants than girls? If you ask me, YES! Maybe not for the first few months but they seem to take longer to learn to entertain themselves and self soothe. Also, as a fellow mom once told me "the boys scream so much louder than the girls".Fellow multiple moms of mixed genders, what do you think? Singleton moms, do you honestly remember the difference between your boys and girls as infants? Veteran moms, is it flip-flopped as teenagers (if so, Mia is going to be a handful at 15!)?
6 comments:
I've always heard that boys are much harder until age 6 or so...having to constantly entertain them, run after them, keep them happy. However, I've also heard that it does flip flop around 12 or 13...boys move on with life and girls' lives just begin with the drama of being a teenager. But, all in all...different personalities are different personalities... :)
He'll figure it out...they'll become terrors...it'll all be normal to you though! :)
Miss you guys!
~ mother of 1 boy
As a mother of both singletons and mixed multiples I have to say that boys are much much easier babies. All of my girls have were always very needy as infants. Now, at 10 years old my oldest is very easygoing. My oldest son though was an absolute angel (ecept for the 4 month stint with colic) until he hit 2 1/2 years old. He is now trying to put me in a home. LOL! He is very rough and tumble (very typical all-american boy). My youngest son is the most easy going kid at this point. He is very independent and will play by himself forever.
I say it really depends on the dynamics of each family.
Declan can out scream the girls any day. He has always been the neediest of the group.
I have 3 boys, so all I can say is that if they are more ..er... difficult, then be happy you've got 2 girls :)
But mine, of course are perfect angels. always. really. ;)
-Mel
I think it is so much just personality. I've seen that as my kids have gotten older. I made a comment in the hospital when he was born about Alex being very sensitive. I have seen that carry over even still. He was a tougher baby because he needed me more than the others did. He's still a mama's boy.
Rachel needed a lot of stimulation as a baby, and she still needs to be doing something. Her mind if always racing and planning some new song or play or something. So, Marcus is just probably like that.
I do think that you teach your kids how to behave by choosing an action and sticking to it. I don't know what age this starts really, but allowing Rachel to come to our bed (from age 1-2) made her wake up and do it every night. With the boys, I never allowed it, and they slept much better on their own.
Figuring it all out is hard and having to do it with 3 kids at one time is a challenge. I'll have a talk with him next weekend. I'll set him straight.
Well, I have no girls to compare to, but as you know, I considered both my boys "difficult" as infants--neither of them was good at self-soothing for the first several months. This seemed to have no correlation to their personalities now though, as Charlie is still a "high-maintenance" child while Nathan is as easygoing as a little boy can be. It may have a little to do with the whole first-child, secon-child thing--we were more relaxed, and a little more knowledgeable the second time. Unfortunately, you get to learn on all three at once and don't get the benefit of the "second child" mellowness!
Post a Comment