Bye Bye Bikini, Hello Tankini

If I had known I was going to get pregnant with triplets, I would have had some bikini farewell event. Maybe a baywatch shot of me running in my bikini or maybe I would have worn it around for a full day. I would at least have taken a good look at myself in the mirror wearing each of my bikini's. Because, my bikini days are over!

I remember one of my good friend's showing me her teensie c-section scar soon after I got pregnant and marveling how minuscule the damage was. I remember thinking, "I could easily hide that under a bikini bottom". Ha Ha.

Then, I remember making the HUGE mistake while I was pregnant of watching the Jon and Kate episode where Kate revealed to the world what her post-sextuplet belly looked like. I literally immediately ran up to my room and cried for hours. Max attempted to make me feel better by saying "But honey, she looks great post-tummy tuck. It is completely fixable". That is the moment I realized a tummy tuck was the ONLY way I would ever wear a bikini again.

While I was on bedrest in the hospital, I only saw myself in a full length mirror once, a few days before I gave birth to my babies. I cried then too.

I remember being suprised by the varrying responses of the mother's on the triplet board regarding their "after" tummy skin. Some of them reported "no stretch marks, I must be gumby" and others said "The damage is permanent, you will never look the same!" I now realize many of these mothers who claimed no permanent bodily harm only went to 28-30 weeks (my first stretch mark appeared at 30 weeks), they were 6 ft. tall or they really were gumby.

The last three weeks of my pregnancy were a major challenge for my 5 foot even frame. My ribs ached as they expanded, my insides migrated, and unfortunately I did not grow new skin. The result...ribs that will never retract, hanging skin, and a gaping hole between my ab muscles.

However, I must say I am completely in awe of how my body that was completely out of whack prior to my pregnancy managed to pull it together and nurture 3 human beings for 33 weeks. The results may be a flabby tummy and protruding ribs but they also include 3 miracles that make all the pain and uglies worth it.

I worked hard for my six pack prior to my pregnancy. And even though I know I will not be showing them off anytime soon, I am proud that I have worked hard after my pregnancy to regained all my ab strength.

Maybe some day I will get that tummy tuck and wear a bikini again. For now, I am counting my blessings and enjoying my crazy but wonderful new family. And my tankini is in the mail.